I had breakfast with a friend last week and we were talking about relationships we had back when we were in school. To this day I feel a little emotional tug at having a relationship end with no closure.
One former boyfriend of hers thought she never broke up with him. “You didn’t ghost him, did you?” I asked incredulously. No, she answered because they really hadn’t been committed in her mind so there was no closure needed or expected.
I recalled heartbreak when I was in high school. A boy I (thought) I loved, left town without a word. He was older than me, had a fast car, and was quite a drinker. I remember hassling him about drinking and drag racing – from a safety perspective, and it wasn’t well received. I let myself believe that is why he left but I really have no idea.
Here is a poem I wrote, exactly as I wrote it, at 16 years old:
So, you’re taking off to the West my friend, leaving Chicago behind
Fleeing away from those you hurt, those you erase from your mind.
So, you’ve found a new direction, a one-way ticket from home.
Forget the past mistakes you’ve made, you’re king wherever you roam.
Running away in your Malibu, an engine with a mind
Looking for what you already have – losing whatever you find.
So, you’re taking off to the West my friend, leaving me behind.
Don’t think that it shall break my heart, I’ve already lost my mind.
©Terry Lynne Hale
I recall his name, how he looked, and his voice all these years later.
My husband & I were on our deck a few days ago and I told him what my friend & I discussed and then recited this poem to him. He replied with a mischievous grin “oh, so that’s how you lost your mind!” Comedian.